DECEMBER 18, 1998 GAY PEOPLe's ChronICLE 13

All I want for Christmas

Continued from page 11

hanging off a rhinoceros, that is.

Seeing Billy, I recalled how my interest in dolls as a little boy caused something of a stir in the ol' homestead. One year, at age four, I even had the moxie to ask for a talking Raggedy Andy (the Furby/Tickle Me Elmo Cabbage Patch Doll of that era). I got it, I believe, because it was a "boy" doll and somewhat educational. When his string was pulled, Andy talked of sharing toys and being honest.

Looking at the catalog for Billy, I wondered how many other gay men also wanted dolls as children. When my sisters outgrew their Barbies (three) and Kens (two), I made the quintet mine, quietly playing with them when I felt I would not be found out. I often was, though.

One of my favorite things was to put a dress on one of the Kens and send him out on a date with the other. I thought the combination of his short hair, flat chest and a frilly party frock was funny, but somehow okay. Why should Barbie get all the nice things?

Since I also played in the dirt with my

trucks and green plastic soldiers with equal ardor, I think my parents looked the other way when it came to my quality time with Barbie. But, still, one day the dolls were gone, and I knew it was better not to ask where to. I understood that my doll-playing days were deemed officially over.

Now I want a Billy doll.

For a brief moment I thought what a chuckle it would be to send a differently outfitted Billy to each of my nephews and nieces. But I remembered his anatomically correct part. Wouldn't be prudent. Then I thought of being a gender warrior and sending girls' toys to the boys, and boys' toys to the girls. Wouldn't that cause a ruckus?

In the end I will probably take the path of least resistance and buy gift certificates to Toys R Us. That doesn't make me the most creative of uncles, but I will get to make a onestop visit to the toy store. Meanwhile, the kids will get what they really want, and it gives me time to figure out which Billy I want to ask Santa for. Right now I am leaning toward a Cowboy Billy. ✓

Bob Findle is a freelance writer living in San Diego, California.

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